Sleeping with the enemy....no wait....the pastry

My husband talks in his sleep, and so does my son, Addison. It used to be a pretty frequent thing for Adam, and some of my favorite memories from our dating days include long, late night phone calls during which he would fall asleep, yet continue to converse. The first time this happened, I realized something wasn’t right when Adam said, in a very accusatory manner, that my bird had taken and eaten his bagel. I didn’t have a bird, and when I tried to argue this point with him, he continued further with “I’m not sharing my herb garden with your mother no matter what you say!” I never said he should…we don’t even grow her variety of ‘herb.’

Adam also sleepwalks on occasion, and once when Rosie was a baby I asked him in the middle of the night to get a bottle for the baby, and instead he returned with a bottle full of dry Cheerios. I pointed out his error and sent him back for milk, only for him to return with an empty tapioca pudding cup from the trash can. We decided the next morning that I should be in charge of night time bottles, lest he inadvertently treat the babe to a cuppa joe in the wee hours, or perhaps an eight ounce bottle of bourbon. Hey….cool way to get out of getting up with the baby at three a.m.

I have only seen Addison sleepwalk once. He was coming down our very steep, slick staircase, and ever since then I’ve felt more comfortable with him sleeping downstairs. He basically sleeps where he lands each night, and lately has taken to crashing on my bedroom floor in a sleeping bag. It’s fun to listen to him giggle and chatter through his sleep. Most of the time I can’t quite make out what he’s saying, but last week he sat straight up in bed and bellowed “Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns! What the hell are hot cross buns?”

I often wonder what is going on in that little seven year old brain of his, and I guess the answer is…cursing. Don’t know where he hears that kind of language, ahem. But I suppose one can’t be blamed for things said and done while unconscious, at least that’s the line Adam feeds me, but I plan to forewarn any future potential girlfriends that might come Addison’s way.